Enjoy Them #SB2014

"Enjoy them!"

This is what my pediatrician says upon exit of every visit. Every. single. visit. Those first two years I really need to be reminded of that. The stress of being a new mother was daunting. Then transitioning from one to two children...wow! It was nice to sometimes be reminded to just .... enjoy.

And that is what I have done this week of Spring Break 2014. I have chosen to enjoy my kids. No, we didn't go on vacation. No, there went any big trips booked. Believe it or not, I let my Type A personality take a back seat and didn't even plan any outings. No, John didn't even get to take a day off work. I just went with the flow. No plan, no schedule. For me...this was a stretch, but I LOVED it.

The boys and I had an amazing time. Just me and them. I get this privilege each time school is closed, but this was a whole week. I was stoked! Sleeping in (7am for me), staying in PJs, playgrounds, tickle fights, more playgrounds, friends, ice cream and just getting to know my kids better.

Sweet brother moment - sharing a ladybug.

I know that sounds funny. I birthed them. I am raising them. But in all honesty, I only get to see my kids from 5-8 each week night. We have the morning, but things are so rushed, I don't count that as quality time. Even on school nights once we get home at 5 or 5:30, I am unpacking three lunches, repacking three lunches, unpacking backpacks, repacking backpacks, helping Evan with homework and getting three different dinners made for the four people in our family (yes...yes...I know this is my own fault). Our 'family' time doesn't usually start until we sit down for dinner after 6. By 7:30 we are starting our bedtime routine. So an hour and a half. Sad, isn't it?

Sometimes when I really stop and think about it, I do get sad. But then I know this is how God designed our family and I have two choices. Pout or choose to enjoy. This why I chose to go 'hands free' between 5-8. So I can enjoy them. That's why I chose to exercise after they go to bed. So I can enjoy them.

So I was stoked about a whole week with the boys. But let's be real. There have been Spring Breaks when they were younger that I cried over having them all to myself week. Luke was too young to do much and Evan was too old to be cooped up in the house. It was hard. Very hard. But now, while it isn't easy, it's FUN!

We had impromptu playdates with friends from school. We had outings with friends to KidsPlay. We had a movie and PJ day. We read book after book after book. We went to playgrounds. We got ice cream in the afternoon. We played board games. We had so many tickle fights. We wrestled on the bed. We hugged on the couch. We just enjoyed each other.

Was is DisneyWorld? Was it the beach? Was it skiing? No. But was it perfect for me? Yes. And it's my choice to enjoy them everyday.

Pilates Class Now Online!

Next week I am going to start offering my pilates class at 4pm on Monday and Thursday ONLINE! The “in real life” class will still be occurring at St. George’s, but if you can’t leave your house, you can join us via Google Hangouts. Here are the following things you need:

• A google account (or gmail account)
• Paypal Account
• $4
• 60 minutes of your day

Let me back up. As most of you know, I have fallen in love with yoga. I take ‘yoga classes’ online 4-5 times a week via yogaglo.com. I pay a monthly subscription and have access to some of the best yoga teachers in the world whenever I want. On my time. In my house. Where I can fall and no one sees me (except my family and they love me so they can’t laugh. Who am I kidding? They laugh.) Where I can pause and put the kids back in bed for the third time. Where I can rewind and watch/listen to the instructions again. I am in LOVE with this way of exercising. Would I like to join a yoga studio? Absolutely? Does it work at this time in my life? No. So I do what I can when I can.

When a friend and pilates client talked to me about offering my class on Google Hangout I was hesitant at first. Would this decrease my ‘in real life’ class size? Would people stop coming? I wouldn’t be able to correct people’s alignment if I couldn’t see them. I like have IRL classes so I can see clients reaction to the exercise. Are they bored? Is it too hard? Too easy?

But then it hit me. I can reach more people this way. This was the whole reason I started teaching pilates. When I found pilates it changed my view of exercise. My body responded so differently than it did with the normal ‘cardio’. I wanted to offer this form of exercise to people at a reasonable time of day at a reasonable price. I didn’t want to make it my full time job. I just wanted it to cover my childcare expenses for that hour. If it changed me, my body, my mood, etc, there might be another person out there it could help as well.

When I remembered that, I thought, this is a GREAT idea! More people can see if pilates is for them (because I am a realist - I know this form of exercise isn’t for everyone.) So I decided to jump in.

Now for the details:

Step One - Beginner Video

If you have NEVER taken pilates before I ask you to go through a beginner video I made. I have made it private on YouTube and Google Drive but will offer anyone the link who wants to try it. This video is about 50 minutes long explains postural alignment during the exercises. When doing pilates, it is very important to understand postural alignment. This video breaks it down completely for you. You must email me for this link. No text is even needed! Just put "pilates video" in the subject and I'll know what you mean.

Step Two - Signing a Waiver

If you would like to join a class virtually, I have to have a waiver on file. Click here to download the waiver. You'll need a witness when you sign the waiver, so grab your significant other, neighbor, work friend, etc. You and the witness sign the waiver and either scan it or take a picture of the document and email it back to me.

Step Three - Google Account

If you do not have a Google account (or gmail) you will need to sign up for a free google account. Once you sign up, please email me from that account. I will add you on Google Plus and be able to invite you to a hangout.

Step Four - PayPal Account

Classes are $4. Yup, you read that right. 4 bucks. You can pay one of two ways. 
1. You can buy a ‘punch card’ that gives you 10 classes for $40. I will keep up with your card and give you a punch for each class you virtually attend. The cards don’t expire. As long as I am teaching, you have the card. 
2. You can pay for each class individually. $4 each time you can attend.
If you see me during the week you don't have to use Paypal. This is just for those people who don't work at SG, live near me, or go to church with me. If you feel more comfortable using snail mail, let me know.

Step Five - Contact Me

Here is the only small minor problem with my plan. Google Hangouts only allows 15 people to ‘hangout’ together. You can reserve your spot with payment and and an email. If you buy a card you can have a standing invitation for 10 classes (unless more than 15 people buy a card. If that happens, I'll go to plan B). If you can’t make a class one day, just email me and tell me you can’t make it. If you want to pay for each individual class, you will need to email me and submit your payment by 3pm to reserve your spot.

Lastly, I will be recording each class. If you attend the class virtually or in real life you can have access to the video link. If 4pm doesn’t work with your schedule - don’t fret! I have a plan for you as well!

You still follow Steps 1-4. You can also buy a card that will give you 10 video links to practice at your own leisure. You will receive that week’s link the day after class. Uploading an hour long video has to happen overnight! If you would like to receive the video links one at a time, you can email me at any point, pay, and receive the latest class link.

I hope that makes everything clear! Please don’t hesitate to email me this week with any questions. I will start the virtual class on Monday, March 17.

Eat dessert first

“Life is too short. Eat dessert first,” was one of the many one-liners I remember my dad saying.

10 years. Sometimes it feels like one and other times it feels like 100.

How do you describe someone who meant the world to you to two small boys who will never meet him? Sometimes I feel it is impossible to bring forth a happy memory because those last couple years were so bad. Sometimes I feel it impossible to release regret over not seeing him as much, not calling as often, being a bratty teenager. Sometimes I feel it impossible to believe he is not here for me to ask a question.

But then I remember, this is my normal. Nothing about his passing is getting easier. I sincerely believe it will never get easier. But it is becoming more normal.

More normal he isn’t here.

More normal that he’ll never meet his grandchildren.

More normal I’ll never get another hug.

More normal I’ll never hear him laugh.

My new normal.

Do I like this version of normal for me? Not particularly, but I don’t really have a choice. And that is the funny thing about choices. Sometimes in life I have a choice and sometimes I don’t. It’s what I do with those choices that matter.

I choose to remember his happy moments.

I choose to remember him healthy.

I choose to delight in my memories.

I choose to tell his stories.

I choose to live my life in a way he would be proud.

Evan and Luke – while you will never know my dad, I hope and pray that his joy, his humor, his wonderful, big, full laugh will live through me the rest of your life. If anything, learn to love your life because it IS too short.

So on this day I choose to celebrate his LIFE. Join me. If you knew him well, remember him faintly or never crossed his path, I would love for all of you to raise you dessert forks, spoons or glass in honor of my dad and eat dessert FIRST!

Love is in the air...

I love Valentine's Day. I really do. And this year was no exception. The month prior I had a plan. A plan for a big family Valentine's Day. Lots of family activities with the boys, Valentine's food, love bags... my Pinterest was blowin' up.

Then I remembered...I am tired on Fridays. I mean dead dog tired. As the special day grew closer I found myself muttering cuss words whenever Pinterest crossed my mind.
My preacher has a unnerving way of making me feel like he wrote his sermon based around my life and what I need to learn that week. I was exhausted and exhaustion is brought on by my physical body trying to tell me to slow down, don't do so much, rest. Exhaustion isn't a part of God's plan for me. It's His way of saying...cool it chick.

So I made the teachers' presents easy on me, the boys' Valentine's to their friends were not 'handmade' but store bought, and cut my 'family' activities down by 1/3.

Teachers' Present
I did open Pinterest once for this. I knew I needed to get a present that I could buy while still sitting in the car with two kids 5 and under. And really, who doesn't like to splurge on a donut every now and then? (Sidebar: That person would be me. I took a 4 year hiatus from donuts until Valentine's morning. sick. as. a dog.)

Luke and Evan's teachers got little bags with heart shaped donuts in them. Even if they didn't get to eat them (which I know 2 of them did) they could take them home to someone they love. Evan's speciality teachers got a little red card with the donut attached. They mean a lot to Evan too!

Evan and Luke had a Valentine's party at school. Both boys had fun. Evan's highlight was opening all his Valentine cards. I witnessed the sweetest thing while watching 13 five year olds open their cards. Every time they opened a card, they actually read what it said! Amazing since I have known some of these kids since they weeks old. And then to top it off, after they read the card, the found that person and thanked them. All 13..every time they opened a card! Full disclosure, their teachers told them to make sure to thank the person who gave them a valentine way earlier in the day, but they remembered and actually did it!! Love how these ladies teach my kids not only the academics of the day but these amazing social and life skills. 

Family Time

When we got home, the boys and I made heart cookies. They love helping when I bake and cookies are their absolute favorite! (yes, Evan is already in his PJs before 5pm. He lives in those things. First thing he does when he gets home.)

 

John, being the amazing husband he is, took the boys out to get me a Valentine. They brought home a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. John let Evan pick out the flowers! He did so good! Sweet boys. John is making sure these guys always take care of their momma.

My one true love

Now for my true Valentine - John. We usually don't do 'presents' on Valentine's Day. He almost always gets me flowers (which I tell him not to do) and takes me out. But we try to focus the celebration on us and give each other time. This Valentine's John broke the rules and bought me this amazing new yoga mat. Y'all, I know not a lot of people can appreciate this, but this mat literally changed my practice. If you are a runner, just think about that first run in those shoes that changed your foot alignment.
But more than that, John is attentive to me. He sees what makes me happy and what I love doing. He wants me to know he supports that and is proud of me.

We had an in house date night right at our kitchen table on Saturday night. We used to do these about once a month when Luke was younger and we couldn't leave him with a sitter. I think it really will be one of my favorite memories of when the kids were young. We get some snacky tapas type foods, light some candles, open some wine and just sit and talk while we eat. The dinner is never rushed. No one is asking us for more cheez its. We don't worry about getting homework done, etc. It's blissful. 

We have been sharing Valentine's Day since 1997. Our first Valentine's together has a hilarious story to it that I will save for another day, but let's just say, we are still to this day trying to love each other a little bit more each and everyday. And honey, it's working. I love you.

Let it gooooo....let it go...

If you found yourself singing, you must have kids that enjoy the movie theatre or Kids' Place Live. If you didn’t sing when you read that title then you just might when you read this next word.

Control {never gonna stop}

Okay…okay…I’ll stop.

It has taken me quite a while in this journey called mothering to accept, truly 100% accept, I ultimately have no control.

Now don’t get that confused with decisions. I can make decisions all day long for my children. I can decide what they are going to eat, but ultimately they will be the ones that control what goes in their mouth. I can decide when bedtime will be, but they are the ones that control when they close their eyes and fall asleep. I can decide that they wear big boy underwear but they are the ones who control whether they keep it dry or not. (This is really a sore topic with me right now...)

My preacher gave a sermon a couple weeks ago where he touched on earthly problems. Our problems are God’s problems. When we deprive Him of helping us with our problems, we aren’t letting God do His job.  Me…I am not letting God, creator of this universe, do His job because I, little Amanda, think I can do better than God….who created the universe. Sounds logical, right?

And it does go back to control. I thought I could control what happened in my life, with my children, my day. Then a light bulb moment happened. A true epiphany if you will….

If I can’t control it, it ceases to be my problem.

Let it go….let it go…I am one with the wind and…oh wait

This is God’s problem. This is God’s job to fix. This is God’s job to make it right for HIS glory. Not my glory. Not my kids’ glory. Not my family’s glory. HIS glory. All I have to do is release control and ask Him for help.

These are our children, but they are really only on loan from God during their time on earth. God handpicked us to be their parents. He handpicked us to care for them. He handpicked us to make those good decisions for them. He handpicked us to pray for them. How humbling is that? Out of all the millions of people in this world, we get the honor of being Evan and Luke’s parents. It baffles me if I stop long enough to really process this.

So when I combined these two truths – 1. I don’t have control and 2. My children are really only on loan from God, it forced me to reevaluate how I make decisions.

Do you know what I do what Luke is acting like a complete and utter fool? Yeah, I pray. I am sure all Christian parents pray for their kids. But I don’t pray like you think. I stop what I am doing and tell God, “Hey, this adorable kid that has really cool hair that You gave me. He’s acting like a fool. What am I supposed to do with this? Tell me how you want me to fix this.”

When Evan decides the first time I said no really didn’t sound to great to him? Yeah, I pray. But I don’t pray like you think. “God. This little dimpled angelic creature You gave me isn’t listening. Like not even one bit. Tell me how you’d like me to help him listen better. Just tell me what to do because he really isn't being the kid you want him to be right now.” It’s now on God to deliver the solution and for me to listen and obey. Listen and obey. And not get distracted into thinking I have control. :)

   

Distracted

Evan has been thriving in Kindergarten. He loves his teachers. He loves his friends. He loves learning new stuff. He has fallen in love with reading and beams when he completes a story by himself. We are having one area of difficultly though.

This semester he has had a bit of trouble completing his work on time. This is NOT because the work is too difficult, or he is even having trouble with it. It is simply because he gets distracted. He has been having this problem for a couple months, but really started to affect his learning this past month. Not to worry, mommy and teacher always work together. Evan and I have been talking incessantly about staying on task, completing his work, not getting distracted by other kids. John has reminded Evan to stay on task, complete his work and not get distracted. I created a star chart for each day he completes his work. Naturally he wants a Skylander when he finishes his chart. He has had almost 10 straight days (with just one slip up) of completing his work on time. This has been a big talking point at our house.

Evan has a teacher who is really (I mean …really) into football. He has come home all fall talking about certain teams and players and not really making any sense. It’s cute though. The entire SK also got to meet a 'real live' football player, as Evan called him. Mrs. Hayden's (another SK teacher) husband, Mr. Hayden played in the Super Bowl while he was a Packer. Mr. Hayden came and talked about his experience in the Super Bowl. As we were walking out of school that day, Evan was telling me all about his visit....which he never does. He never tells me about school. We saw Mrs. Hayden across the parking lot and he screams, "Hey, Mrs. Hayden!! What was the name of that 'real live' football player that came to school today?" Mrs. Hayden, "Hmmm...could it have been Mr. Hayden?" Evan, "no, no, the football player." I giggle, because I know it was Mrs. Hayden's husband. Mrs. Hayden says, "Evan that was Mr. Hayden. Dallan's and Cullen's dad." Evan - blank stare...."whaaaaa?" Yeah, you saw the note about him getting distracted right? I guess it's kind of like seeing your teacher out of school. Teachers aren't supposed to have husbands that play in the Super Bowl. It blew his little mind.

John and I have always liked football but having two little ones at home prevented us from watching most games. Now that Evan loves football, he’ll actually sit and watch games with us.

As the Super Bowl approached, Evan could not contain his excitement. He talked about the teams playing. He talked about the players. He asked everyday for two weeks if the Super Bowl was on that day.

So we decided to have a Super Bowl gathering. We skipped out on our volunteer jobs at church (first time in about a year) and had a fun filled family night. While I do love football and had a favorite team, I was really rooting for the commercials and Super Bowl food.

As soon as Evan’s friends arrived, he abandoned the game and ran off to play. He did return for the halftime show to which the shirtless guy with all the tattoos amazed him. I quickly explained that that was ‘mommy’s music’ to which I quickly regretted once he was completely mesmerized by their hyper movements, loud singing, and ink covered bodies. Now, please know, he is not sheltered by any means. Several family members have tattoos (including his own mother…gasp). We have friends with tattoos. I don’t think that is was the ink that he was so amazed by. I think it was the music. We don’t really listen to ‘mommy’s music’ while in the car. I quickly found a kids’ station the moment he started singing Lady Gaga’s Poker face using all the correct words. My car radio is now fixed on Kids’ Place Live. And yes, I do find myself singing more kids songs than anything. (You listen to “Let it Go” and tell me it’s not catchy!)

 

 

The next day his class was discussing the game. Of course Evan wanted to talk about the shirtless guy with all the tattoos. His exact words, “I mean what was up with that??” But the best line came while discussing why the Bronco’s lost. They discussed defense, certain plays and how the game played out. But Evan had it all figured out. He told Mrs. Finny, “I think Peyton Manning must have been distracted.”

Elder and Wiser

Well, maybe not wiser, but he’s elder, now. J

John was sworn in as elder at Hope Presbyterian. I am so proud of him for many reasons. John serves our church in the band every Sunday night at The Stirring. On top of being away from work between 50-55 hours a week, he finds time to practice almost daily the songs for the weekend. He also gives close to 5 hours on Sunday to rehearse and play. He is also a part of The Stirring Leadership Team which prays for those who attend Hope and meet once a month to plan services. Even on top of this, he has found a different way to step up and serve Hope some more.

We did a spiritual gift survey years ago. John’s top gift with no margin of competition was leadership. He is a quiet leader though. He speaks when he needs to and always thinks before speaking. He doesn’t talk much, but when he does, people listen. Unlike me, who doesn’t stop talking.

The elder commitment is three years. I am excited to see how this journey will deepen his spiritual walk and strengthen his love for our church even more.

John – I am proud of you and for the next three years, will call you my elder (even though you are younger!)