Santa Fail

For Evan's big Santa gift, we bought him a bike from ToysRUs...online. We actually know our UPS driver thanks to John working at a company that is the second largest shipper in Collierville. Steve delivered the bike with another co-worker. If you have seen the people who work for UPS this month, you understand they usually drop, ring, and run. Well Steve and his co-worker knew our family would be home, probably enjoying dinner, when they delivered the bike after 6pm one night. So they took time out of their delivery schedule to come to our door, ring and the bell and wait for us with no package in hand. Of course, Evan being the inquisitive little boy he is wanted to see who was at the door. We said hey to Steve and then when back to dinner leaving John outside. Steve then gave John the package to our other garage so Evan wouldn't see it. He was none the wiser. He just thought a friend came to visit daddy. Point Mommy and Daddy (and Steve).

We kept talking about how we need to put the bike together at some point before Christmas. We have a  Christmas Eve party with family and friends where Evan usually stays up well past midnight, so putting together on Christmas Eve was out of the question. We have a really good hiding place in the second garage, so we thought we'd be in the clear. Another point awarded to Mommy and Daddy.

John starts to put Evan's bike together in the den. Our house is pretty open concept, but if you are close to the fireplace you can't see what is going on from the stairs. It isn't uncommon for Evan to come to the top of the stairs and peek downstairs into the den, but we are usually on the couch watching TV and it usually only happens once after we put him to bed. On this night I was on 'watch' for him. After about 20 minutes I hadn't seen him so I assumed we were in the clear. The bike only took about 30 minutes to put together, and we only had one piece left over...let's hope the bike doesn't fall apart on its first excursion. Again, we are feeling pretty successful. I am just about to award another point to us.....until...

John grabs the bike and asks me to grab the box and other trash to take it to our garage. He is leading the way when I run right into him walking the wrong way. As soon as I run into him I hear Evan's voice. I drop the box and fiercely whisper, "Is that Evan??" because I still can't see the stairs. As I round the corner there is my sweet angelic face of a boy sitting at the top of the stairs looking through the spindles. "Mommy, is that bike for me??" I look at John, now standing completely away in a hallway, and his lips are pushed together and his eyes are wide. I just do what any parent with a 4 year old would do. I lie. I lie straight to his sweet angelic face. "What are you talking about, Evan??" Evan says, "No no, I saw Daddy carrying a bike." Liar mommy, "No, baby, Daddy wasn't carrying a bike" to which daddy appears from the hallway and say, "What buddy? I don't have a bike." This must be how Adam felt in the garden of Eden. Evan again, "But no, no..." and starts walking down the stairs. I quickly start up the stairs and say, "Oh honey, you must have been still asleep and dreaming. There isn't a bike downstairs. Do you feel okay?" So now, not only am I trying to convince my child he's half crazy and seeing things, but I am also throwing out there that he might be sick. Mother.of.the.year. I pick him up and say, "Do you want a bike for Christmas? Maybe we can go ask Santa for a bike." To which the poor sweet boy says, "Can I have that one that daddy was carrying?" Seriously, I thought I could pull something like this over on him?? To which I continue the facade, "Baby, daddy was not holding a bike." John then comes in the room and continues with the lie. Knowing that he is upstairs means the bike is out of the house. I say to Evan, "You want to go downstairs and look again?" So we all head downstairs to discover there is no bike. As he is looking I grab a long large red toy (Mac from Cars) and say, "Do you think you saw this? Daddy and I were cleaning up. You might have saw him carrying this." I knew it was a stretch from the moment the words left my mouth. Evan just stared and me for a good 15 seconds. If he knew the words, "what the hell" he might have muttered them at me. Since he doesn't, he just said, "noooo, that wasn't it." All three points taken back from mommy and daddy.

So I scooped him back up and carried him upstairs, still confused and half teary, promising him of grand things like visits to Santa and dining at Chik-fil-a. Once I mentioned food he completely dismissed the bike. "Can I get french fries? Will I be able to play on the playground? Can Luke come with us? Can we go tomorrow when I wake up?" Men (even at 4) are so easy...distract them with food...works every time.

It's been a good 36 hours since the epic Santa fail and Evan hasn't mentioned the bike again. I've got 4 more days that I'll be walking around on pins and needles not saying words that even rhyme with bike. Because anyone who knows Evan, knows Evan doesn't forget....anything. Match, set and win to Evan.