Let it gooooo....let it go...

If you found yourself singing, you must have kids that enjoy the movie theatre or Kids' Place Live. If you didn’t sing when you read that title then you just might when you read this next word.

Control {never gonna stop}

Okay…okay…I’ll stop.

It has taken me quite a while in this journey called mothering to accept, truly 100% accept, I ultimately have no control.

Now don’t get that confused with decisions. I can make decisions all day long for my children. I can decide what they are going to eat, but ultimately they will be the ones that control what goes in their mouth. I can decide when bedtime will be, but they are the ones that control when they close their eyes and fall asleep. I can decide that they wear big boy underwear but they are the ones who control whether they keep it dry or not. (This is really a sore topic with me right now...)

My preacher gave a sermon a couple weeks ago where he touched on earthly problems. Our problems are God’s problems. When we deprive Him of helping us with our problems, we aren’t letting God do His job.  Me…I am not letting God, creator of this universe, do His job because I, little Amanda, think I can do better than God….who created the universe. Sounds logical, right?

And it does go back to control. I thought I could control what happened in my life, with my children, my day. Then a light bulb moment happened. A true epiphany if you will….

If I can’t control it, it ceases to be my problem.

Let it go….let it go…I am one with the wind and…oh wait

This is God’s problem. This is God’s job to fix. This is God’s job to make it right for HIS glory. Not my glory. Not my kids’ glory. Not my family’s glory. HIS glory. All I have to do is release control and ask Him for help.

These are our children, but they are really only on loan from God during their time on earth. God handpicked us to be their parents. He handpicked us to care for them. He handpicked us to make those good decisions for them. He handpicked us to pray for them. How humbling is that? Out of all the millions of people in this world, we get the honor of being Evan and Luke’s parents. It baffles me if I stop long enough to really process this.

So when I combined these two truths – 1. I don’t have control and 2. My children are really only on loan from God, it forced me to reevaluate how I make decisions.

Do you know what I do what Luke is acting like a complete and utter fool? Yeah, I pray. I am sure all Christian parents pray for their kids. But I don’t pray like you think. I stop what I am doing and tell God, “Hey, this adorable kid that has really cool hair that You gave me. He’s acting like a fool. What am I supposed to do with this? Tell me how you want me to fix this.”

When Evan decides the first time I said no really didn’t sound to great to him? Yeah, I pray. But I don’t pray like you think. “God. This little dimpled angelic creature You gave me isn’t listening. Like not even one bit. Tell me how you’d like me to help him listen better. Just tell me what to do because he really isn't being the kid you want him to be right now.” It’s now on God to deliver the solution and for me to listen and obey. Listen and obey. And not get distracted into thinking I have control. :)