Eat dessert first

“Life is too short. Eat dessert first,” was one of the many one-liners I remember my dad saying.

10 years. Sometimes it feels like one and other times it feels like 100.

How do you describe someone who meant the world to you to two small boys who will never meet him? Sometimes I feel it is impossible to bring forth a happy memory because those last couple years were so bad. Sometimes I feel it impossible to release regret over not seeing him as much, not calling as often, being a bratty teenager. Sometimes I feel it impossible to believe he is not here for me to ask a question.

But then I remember, this is my normal. Nothing about his passing is getting easier. I sincerely believe it will never get easier. But it is becoming more normal.

More normal he isn’t here.

More normal that he’ll never meet his grandchildren.

More normal I’ll never get another hug.

More normal I’ll never hear him laugh.

My new normal.

Do I like this version of normal for me? Not particularly, but I don’t really have a choice. And that is the funny thing about choices. Sometimes in life I have a choice and sometimes I don’t. It’s what I do with those choices that matter.

I choose to remember his happy moments.

I choose to remember him healthy.

I choose to delight in my memories.

I choose to tell his stories.

I choose to live my life in a way he would be proud.

Evan and Luke – while you will never know my dad, I hope and pray that his joy, his humor, his wonderful, big, full laugh will live through me the rest of your life. If anything, learn to love your life because it IS too short.

So on this day I choose to celebrate his LIFE. Join me. If you knew him well, remember him faintly or never crossed his path, I would love for all of you to raise you dessert forks, spoons or glass in honor of my dad and eat dessert FIRST!