Incentives and motivation

I am a pretty intrinsically motivated person. But, like most humans, I like a little outside motivation.  For example, running makes me a happier and saner person, but it isn't like I would choose running over sitting on the couch eating cake. Cake would win every time if it made my clothes fit. I run so later I can sit on the couch and eat cake and still fit in my clothes.

Making a child intrinsically motivated is impossible. It's intrinsic. You can't make them that way, but you can encourage it. We are trying to encourage Evan to make right choices by using an incentive chart. Giving him some outside motivation until it become natural.

We sat down with Evan and figured out the 5 things with which he wanted/needed improvement. This month it was his hands being in the right place (oh the joys of boys...), staying in bed, reading BOB books, doing things the first time asked and not interrupting. 

We quickly made the rule that he couldn't ask for a star, but we had to catch him doing one of these things. I wanted to show him success quickly, so he'd continue working for stars, so I made sure to put something which I knew he would succeed.

I also rely on pictures since he can't read! This way he knows exactly where he has earned stars and where he still needs them. 

Evan explaining all the categories.

He has started trying to read, but has become a little lazy. He would have us read to him for hours, but when it comes to him reading, he just has become lazy! We were so fortunate to be introduced BOB books. These are the modern day Dick and Jane. Mat. Mat sat. Mat sat on Sam. And so on. We love them, and so does E! I wish I could capture his face once he reads a full book. It's priceless!

He filled up his first chart in 2.5 weeks. For this chart's prize, Evan wanted a Tick toy. John introduced Evan to The Tick. If you watched Comedy Central in the mid-nineties, you might remember a blue super hero that looked like a giant tick with a battle cry of "SPPOOOOOOON". That's The Tick. *sigh* The biggest problem with Evan loving The Tick (more so than him not really getting any of it) is he wanted a Tick toy for filling up his chart. Leave it to my toy dedicated husband to go on eBay and find a set of Tick toys.

The look on Evan's face was almost as good as Christmas.

This time we are working on no whiney and no fussing when things don't go our way. I think it might take longer than 2.5 weeks to fill this chart.....