First, a couple things about resolution making I have learned over the years.
1. I can't have a 'negative' word in my resolution. I WON'T do something.... I CAN'T have something... Maybe it is the rebellious Scorpio in me but anytime someone (even myself) says I can't have something or I won't be able to do it, I find a way. That is why tradition elimination diets never worked for me.
So if I want to make a resolution where I eliminated something, I have give myself a 'cheat' time or just rewrite the entire thing to say what I need to do, not what I can't do.
2. I can't make a resolution that I have to do everyday. I fail at those every time...usually by January 5th.
3. My resolutions have to last almost the whole year. 2010 is was to survive as a mom of two. Can I be honest and say I am still working on that one?? 2011, it was the run two half marathons. I completed that resolution the first week in December. 2012 was writing my blog at least once a week. I completed that resolution on December 31. If this is truly a resolution, a determination, I don't need to meet it my February. That is more just something I want to do one time.
4. My resolutions have to be measurable. Maybe it is the teacher in me. It has been beat in my head as an educator that expectations have to have a measurable outcome. I can't say I am going to run more. I have to say, I will run two half marathons this year. I have to set measurable outcomes to make myself feel successful.
I made half of my resolutions for 2013 back in October. I know...I am THAT person. My resolutions are very personal this year though. But I can give you a general feel of what they are.
My biggest resolution is to work on relationships. I have a lot of relationships and at this stage in my life, I need to start fostering those again. I was really moved by a sermon where the pastor spoke on building relationships...real meaningful relationships with people. At that point in my life I was still surviving being a working mother of 2, but knew that this was something that really struck a chord with me. God was putting this idea in my heart to fester and grow into a plan of action.
When my boys were smaller (yes, I know 4 and 2 are very young) it was next to impossible to put relationships outside of the house as a high priority. We were in pure basic simple survival mode. Now I don't ever want to use the excuse, "I am too busy. I am soooo busy." Honestly, that is one of my biggest pet peeves. Because everybody, from the President to little old me, has been given the exact same 24 hours in a day. I have chosen how to fill my days. I chose to have two kids pretty close together. I choose to work full time in a pretty demanding job. I choose to teach pilates part time outside of work. I choose to run 10-12 miles a week. I choose to spend 5+ hours volunteering at my church. These are all choices I make each day, week, hour. So yes, I might be busy, but I have chosen to be busy.
So in true Amanda style I have set two measurable outcomes. That is what is a little too personal for me to share on here. I will share how I met these resolutions once I meet them in December just to keep myself accountable.
I hope you were able to make some resolutions this year that are not only meaningful but things that can make you happy with this very short and blessed life we have been given.
If you are not a resolution maker, I hope your 2013 is a rocking good year!
I do resolutions every year too. I love them....even though many of the same things end up on the list year after year. It's only because those items are important to me...I make strides every year, but I'm not perfect...so every year I'm better than I was the year before...but not yet perfect. I imagine they will be on the list forever...unless something happens and they lose their importance. Of course there are always a few new ones too...just to keep it interesting. ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm also not so great with resolutions with "can't" or "won't" or even "limit" or "less". I have this whole long drawn out psychological theory as to why they don't work but the short version is: "scarcity factor." If we think it's scarce...our brain wants more. Like supply/demand in economics...except in terms of humans, I think our brain translates that into "survival of the fittest"..."not enough to go around, must have scarce resource to survive."
Anyhow, when I finally realized I don't do well with those...I started changing my verbiage. For example...I'd like to eat less crap...especially sugar...but when I made that resolution exactly, I failed. Big time. So I changed it to, I'd like to make sure I eat more fruits & veges...gonna do that by always eating salad with lunch and always eating a piece of fruit first when I want a snack. If I want something else after my salad/fruit, I can have it...but I'm starting there. That has worked so well for me because I didn't cut anything out...it's not forbidden...and I'm eating less crap because I'm just not as hungry after I've had my fruit & salad.
It's semantics...and a whole psychological game...but whatever works, right?!. All that to say...I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who struggles with the can't/won't...I thought I just had terrible will power.
Wishing you and your family all the best in 2013.