Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Am I going to heaven or hell?


I am having ALL the feels.

Evan and Luke have been going to Camp in the City at Hope this week. I felt bad for them (I shouldn’t...they live a CHARMED life..) for not having a true ‘summer’ like most kids. Having to go to camp all the time and that camp is also where they go to school all year...Mommy guilt reared its ugly head. So after researching Camp in the City, I thought it would be awesome. It’s at a place I trust, it looks hella fun, and they get a little bit more exposure to God stuff. I mean, we all need a little more Jesus in our life. #canigetanamen


Y’all....I cannot even tell you how good this has been for Luke. My Luke, who I have cried for, prayed for, laid awake for hours worrying for. Luke who cries when we have to go to church on Sunday. Luke who has doesn't pray out loud, nor have I make him.




First day they were picked up by my mom. She warned me on the phone that Evan announced he wasn’t going back as soon as they got in the car. She said he was definitely trying to put words in Luke’s mouth about the day. When I finally got home, he admitted he wasn’t keen on his experience and asked me nicely if he could just go to Camp Gryphon. He didn’t whine or argue when I told him no, you just have to finish out the week. The next morning Luke quietly said, “Mom, Evan doesn’t want to go back.” I said I know, but he was going back. I said, “But you want to, don’t you?” He shyly nodded. I asked him, “Are you having fun?” His grin got bigger and he nodded again.


The second day gave me a completely different Evan and a still excited Luke. Evan said he had a much better day, made a lot of new friends, and was glad he gave it another chance (like he had a choice). 

On the way home, Luke said, “Mom, when I die, will I go to heaven or hell?  IT’S NOT A BAD WORD IF IT’S A PLACE! It's NOT, It's NOT” he quickly interjected with his hands held up in a defensive pose. So we embarked on a conversation about heaven, Jesus, our hearts...I tried to keep it as 6 year old friendly as I could, which is hard. I kept repeating in my head, keep it simple, stupid. 

God loves you. 
God wants you in His family.
God will take care of you.



I mentioned the word Christian. He said, "What's a Christian?" I told him it literally means Christ follower, but to a 6 year old, following someone means physically trailing behind them. It's hard to explain something so abstract. I told him we follow His directions, His word, His commands. That's the way we can follow Christ, and we do all this by welcoming Him into our heart. By bringing Him into our heart, we bring Him into our lives forever.

He excitedly nodded and said, "OOOH! I want that! I want Christ in my heart!" Me too buddy...more than anything.

He prayed with me sitting beside him. His little voice, reaching up to heaven, turning his life over the God. It was the simplest of prayers but the most powerful words he'll ever say...God, please come live in my heart. I love you. Amen.



Afterward, I could not wipe the smile off his face. He was almost floating around the kitchen. I was watching with the same smile. He stopped and turned to me with one hand over his heart. He said, "Mommy...my heart. It feels so warm!"

Mine too, buddy. Mine too.

"Be strong and courageous, for the Lord, your God, will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9


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