I am part of the 50%

John and I split any child rearing responsibilities completely in half. I am extremely lucky to have a soul mate who sees being a parent as a two person job. This includes changing diapers, fixing lunches, bathing kiddos and getting them dressed, the fun stuff. I honestly don't think he would have it any other way. We go about most of our marriage like this. I can only think of one thing we don't split, which is bill paying. I suck at it which is evident by the number of checks I bounced in college. So John takes that completely by himself. Our bank appreciates that sacrifice on his part.

Part of our morning routine is that John gets the boys dressed and breakfast on the table. I have learned two things over the past year of him doing this. One, he either secretly likes picking out their clothes, or two, a little part of him wishes we had twins. :)
Every day the boys look adorable. I love their little "looks" and am happy we both want them styled the same way. Most days there is a theme; rugby day, cargo khaki day, sweater day, or blue long sleeved shirt day. John even got in on the fun of clothing that day!

John and I try our hardest to abide by an "unplugged" rule, another part of parenting we agree on. We try not to open computers, turn on iPads or check email on our phones from 5-8. Being working parents, this is the only uninterrupted time we get with our kids, and we want it focused on being a family. After our family dinner at the kitchen table, we usually all retire upstairs for family fun. There are several activities that usually take place, but once a night we wrestle. I have two little boys, what did I expect?

Lately we have been having pillow fights.

But each night, no matter what we do, we have fun.

They may eat goldfish, but we don't.

I love to cook and bake. It really is relaxing for me. The catch is, it is ONLY relaxing if I have something telling me exactly what to do while I am cooking and baking. I am not the type of person who knows flavor combinations. I can't just "eyeball" ingredients. I can't even tell you if a spice is savory, has heat, or is supposed to be sweet. But I am anal enough to follow directions. I was the kid in school who never fell for the "read all the directions before starting" worksheets that our teachers used to give us to prove we don't really read all of the directions. I will read and re-read a recipe to make sure I have the step by step directions. Since I rely heavily (or only) on recipes, I utilize the internet quite a bit. Much to my Aunt CloElla's dismay, I find the internet so much better than the old fashioned cookbook because of the comments section. Usually there are one or two ways that other people have modified the recipe to make it better, and not usually in a Paula Deen "let's add more butter" kind of way.

John and I are both dedicated to healthy eating. What stresses me out is trying to get a healthy recipe on the table before Evan finishes his 22 minute show of the day or Luke completes melts into the tile floor from hunger. John and I have a stock pile of about 20 recipes that we have slightly modified to work for our family since we are working against the clock.  Most of the time we made them healthier and faster. After Luke was born, part of my daily routine was to count every single little calorie that went into my mouth. Since I was on maternity leave I became a little obsessed with calculating the nutritional information in each of our dishes. So the dishes have to be able to be cooked within 30 minutes, which is all the time we have once we get home from work, and under 500 calories a serving. A lofty goal, I know, but we are committed.

I hope as the boys get older and more independent I can explore more recipes and more options for dinner. Right now though I wanted to share a couple of our favorite dinner for all the busy moms and dads who still want to provide healthy food for themselves and their family.

This is what is for dinner tonight:

TexMex Slow Cooker Chicken

1 pound chicken cut in 1 inch strips
2 tbsp taco seasoning
2 tbsp flour
1 green bell pepper cut in 1 inch strips
1 red bell pepper cut in 1 inch strips
1 cup frozen corn
1.5 cups salsa
Cheese
Uncle Ben's Spanish rice

Mix chicken, taco seasoning and flour in crockpot until chicken is coated. Stir in peppers, corn and salsa. Cook on low for 6-8 hours or on high for 3-4 hours. Serve over Uncle Ben's rice. Sprinkle cheese on top (about an 1/8 cup of cheese per serving). Entire crockpot makes 4 servings. 1 serving equals 330 calories.
Yummy and easy!! To bump up the calories for DH, he eats his serving and a half on tostada shells or over tortilla chips. 

John's Favorite: *Disclaimer - this takes longer than 30 minutes. I cook the chicken and chop the veggies the night before.

Easy Chicken Gumbo
1/2 cup peanut oil
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1 cup chopped sweet onion
1 cup chopped green bell pepper
1 cup chopped celery
16 oz frozen okra
1 1/2 to 3 tsp Cajun seasoning
2 tsp ( I put more) minced garlic
3 (14oz cans) - I use less - chicken broth
1 pound smoked turkey sausage
1 pound cooked chopped chicken
1 pkg of Uncle Ben's Cajun rice

Heat oil in large Dutch oven over medium high heat; gradually which in flour and cook, whisking constantly (very important!) for 5 minutes or until flour is chocolate colored. Carefully watch the roux so it doesn't burn.
Reduce heat to medium. Stir in onion and next five ingredients, and cook, stirring constantly, 3 minutes. Gradually stir in chicken broth (I use less than it calls for. Put as much as you like. We like it less soupy.) and sausage. Increase heat to medium-high and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, and simmer, stirring occasionally, 20 minutes.
After 20 minutes of simmering, stir in chicken and rice.
Make approx 12 cups. Each cup is 211 calories. 

My favorite:

Tuna Cakes

2 12oz cans solid white tuna in spring water, drained well

1 ¼  cups Italian breadcrumbs

2 large egg whites

2 tsp lemon zest

2 tsp Dijon mustard

1/3 cup fat free mayo

1 tsp creole seasoning

4 tbsp olive oil

Drain and rinse tuna (I just drain). Place tuna and breadcrumbs in a large bowl; stir in egg whites, lemon zest, mustard, 1/3 cup fat free mayo, and 1tsp creole seasoning. Shape mixture in 8 (3 inch) patties. Cook 4 patties in 2tbsp hot oil in a large skillet over med high heat until golden. Drain on paper towels. Repeat with remaining tuna cakes and oil.

Each patty is 191 calories.

Eat well!

I have a dream...

I have a dream that one day this thing we call parenting will become easier....

The original title to this post was just simply "I suck", but then after talking with some amazing parents and good friends, I decided, I don't suck. Parenting sucks.
Stay with me and don't call CPS just yet.
Let me first say I love my children. They are even more worth it than everyone said they would be. BUT parenting is hard. Everything about it is hard and most the time I feel pretty insufficient in doing it. From eating, to schedule keeping, and discipline there are a million different ways to view each and every decision I make as a parent. And once I find a style I feel comfortable with, or works for me, something throws a big ole wrench into the plan, like teething.

It's been a trying week at the Asbell house. Luke is cutting his two lower molars. The top two decided to make their appearance over Christmas. I can't imagine how terrible cutting two very large teeth can feel, but his overall demeanor is giving me a clue. Even with him being in pain, he still has managed to pick up two very cute new tricks.
He has found everyone's nose. When you ask him "Where is my nose" he reaches out and squeezes your nose. Now the first time he did this, it was my nose, so I (as any good parent would) promptly honked at him. This delighted him to no end and he squeezed harder and then clapped at his cleverness. And as Pavlov's dogs would do, we immediately start cheering "YAY LUKE" when he clapped for himself.

Evan and I usually operate at one volume; loud. While E, Luke and I were playing on the chair Luke promptly sits up looks at both Evan and I, puts on finger on his mouth and says "shhhhh". I got shushed by my youngest son. Of course we died laughing which made him do it again and again. But instead of it coming out "shh" it comes out as just an 's'. So it is 'sh' with a lisp.

Evan had a big weekend. He filled a "Responsibility Chart". I got this idea from a friend who I share a lot of my parenting struggles with. I am so glad she passed on this little pearl of wisdom. I made a chart for Evan back in the Spring of last year that had items like "I was a good listener",  "Sweet to my brother" (we wanted him to have one that he could always achieve), and "Stayed in my bed". They worked as long as mommy and daddy remembered to add the stars. Sadly we got lazy with his chart because the main thing we wanted him to do was stay in bed all night, and he wasn't succeeding. Starting the first night of Christmas break, Evan slept through the night without getting up. Since he had not done this for five months, we jumped on this opportunity. I made a new star chart and every morning he slept through the night without waking us up, we gave him a star. Exciting news, he has filled up THREE charts since the first night of Christmas break. We decided to have him earn a special reward rather than a toy like the first time we tried the chart. After filling his first chart, he and John went to the movies. The second chart earned a playdate with Gran. For the third chart he requested he bake cookies with me. You have no idea how this warmed my heart. We baked three times over the break, so I guess he was missing it. This came at a very opportune time because a great friend had just given me an entire set of Williams Sonoma alphabet cookie cutters that included a new sugar cookie recipe. 

So I have decided that parenting is never going to get easier. I think each stage and each new age will present its own problems. I can only pray for the wisdom to handle what challenge is in front of me today. Tomorrow can worry about itself. And really, if it was easy, I probably wouldn't be doing it right. In the end we can get through most things like a cranky teething child or super busy schedule because everyone in my family is healthy.

Where are the gypsies?

I have two cute kids. Now I promise they do really uncute things several times a day, but right now they are playing independently without bothering me, and that makes them cute, for now.

Evan a talker. He gets talking so fast that sometimes he combines words. I think his sweet brain moves faster than his mouth, and he just shoves 2 words together to make a new one. Here are some of his favorite combos:
Poinky - adj; a combination of pointy and poky. "If I put these poinky things in your face it will hurt your eyes."
Soupdey - adj; a combination of super and duper; the 'y' is just for fun. "These shoes make me soupdey fast."
Evan also makes up things that happen to him. He has a very active imagination. But part of me believes he really thinks this stuff happened. He had a journal writing activity in PK talking about the New Year. The sentence was "In the new year, I would like to learn _____". Evan wrote "jumq on a trmpolen" which translated is jump on a trampoline. Curious how he even knew what a trampoline was,  I asked Evan where he had seen a trampoline. Without missing a beat he says, "At the parade." Ummmm, okay. "What parade, E?" I ask. "The IronMan parade." Ahhh yes, the IronMan parade that our whole family attended. How silly I forget!

Evan showing you something poky. Luke not patting his head. Evan showing you his soupdey fast shoes. Independent play is mommy's favorite!

Luke is starting to copy everything we do, except talk, but that is a different post. Recently we taught him where his head is. So every time we say, "Luke, where is your head??" he starts patting his head. When we ask him where his belly is, he smiles pats his head. Where's your elbow little guy?? Pat head. Trust me, when it's your kid, it's cute.
One night I made gumbo. It was really really good, but really hot. During dinner John and I aren't eating, but trying to cool our dinner by blowing on our spoons. Luke watches us for several seconds, picks up his goldfish and blows on it with the biggest grin on his face.

Just as I finish this the big kid has spilled his entire water, which is NOT allowed in the den, on my coffee table and the little kid is face planted on the floor screaming as though his hair is on fire. Where are those gypsies again? I might have 2 kids they can have.

2012

I love New Year's resolutions. Ever since I knew what a New Year's resolution was, I started making them and keeping them. In fact, I am such a New Year's resolution fan, I was quoted in the Commercial Appeal back in 2008 for my New Year's resolutions. Yup, I am that girl.

They are important to me, because I like accountability. I run with a friend. If I didn't have someone waiting for me to run, I probably wouldn't. John and I cook dinner for our family. If I didn't have them to be accountable for, I would probably eat Mac and Cheese each night or buy stock in Chik-fil-a. It is also a way for me to announce to my friends and family how I plan on being a better person. Yeah, I could do this in April, but there is something about starting a new calendar year with a clean slate.

Last year I was pretty ambitious. Luke was only 4 months old. I was a working mother of two children under 3. I made 3 resolutions and kept 2. The only one I couldn't keep was something I tried to do everyday. That is too much for me. I succeeded at completing both resolutions on the same day, Dec. 3. The very next day, while eating with some amazing friends who have known me for over 13 years, I found my New Year's resolution for 2012.

I am going to blog!

Hence Goldfish for Dinner. I can't take credit for the title. John came up with that. In fact, I consider him the 'writer' of our marriage. I can quote you reason after reason why I have never blogged. I am not a good writer. No one cares what I have to say. No one has time to read what I write. I don't have time to write about my life. I was encouraging a friend with a new baby to blog so she can document her new family's life. I was adament she start blogging. I told her she won't remember those sleep deprived moments that happen so quick. I think I may have even pounded the table at one point. Then I realized, I was talking to myself. It doesn't matter if no one reads what I write. This is for me. This is for my boys. This is for my family.

New Year's Resolution 2012 - to blog at least once every other week.

Happy New Year's everyone!