One High; One Low

I have been so blessed to be surrounded my entire life as a mom by some amazing parents. Many offered excellent advice to me whenever I shared a struggle.

Some offered the advice without me asking....but I can forgive. ;)

Sadly, I have NO idea which amazing mother this idea came from, but I love it.

If you have boys or kids like mine, it's is like pulling teeth trying to get any information about their day out of them! I am KNOW this one word answers are going to turn into grunts soon.

Me: Hey guys! How was your day?
Them: fine
Me: Whaddya do?
Them: Stuff
Me: Who'd you play with?
Them: people
Me: Anything great happen?
Them: no
Me: Anything bad happen?
Them: no
Me: Are we done here?
Them: yeah
Me: Awesome. Good talk.

So we have started telling our High/Low. I did this when I first heard about it, but the kiddos (especially Luke) were a little too young to understand or even recall his day. So I waited and kept trying again when the mood struck.

Finally, this month it worked!!

Each night at dinner or in the car on the way home (if we aren't going to eat together that night) we talk about our one high and one low of the day. The entire family gets into it!! Each person has to pick one great amazing thing that happened to them that day and one not so great thing that happened to them that day. I like starting with the low and ending on the high, but since the game is called High/Low, the kids always start with the high.

I LOVE what it does for us as a family! It gets us talking!! Not that either one of these children has a problem talking (they.don't.stop.), but I get a little insight into their day! And what's even better is they talk to each other about their day at the dinner table!

I've been a BIG proponent of no screens at the dinner table since the kids knew what screens were, but we fell into this lull at dinner. John and I had just hurried home from work, bags were unpacked, lunches unloaded and remade, dinner started, homework cried over, dinner put on the table. To be honest...I WAS DONE talking. But this little tradition we've started got me back on track.

We started it just in the car on the way home from school. Luke got so excited to participate, he would make sure it was the first thing we did. His highs usually revolved around recess and aftercare. One day he told me his low was his group didn't follow directions. Because of that, they all had to go back to the table. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, I dove straight into some empathy training on how that made him feel, how he thought the rest of the group felt, but more importantly, how that made his teacher feel.
He felt safe talking to be about this mistake because he knew he wasn't in trouble. He was sharing about his day!!

And something else....it shows the kids that mommy and daddy's days aren't perfect either. Sometimes we have really great things happen, but other times, we have to overcome a mistake, disappointment, or just a generally yucky day. These things...these lows (and highs) will continue. It's how we deal with them that makes all the difference in the world.

I hope we can continue this little routine for years to come. I am sure there are going to be many nights that the kids don't want to tell me their high or their low, but they will always know I am here to listen, no matter what.