St. George's hosts a Talent Show each year where first through fifth graders are allowed to spotlight their gifts and talents. Evan decided way back in November he wanted to play the drums to the song Red Balloon from the movie Home. He started practicing with Andrew, his drum teacher, in December. By February, he could play that song in his sleep! There two rehearsals, but neither one he was able to actually play through the sound system.
The night of the show Evan was ready. He knew his part. He planned his exit. There was nothing left to do but play....
Sadly, he played with all his heart, but nothing was heard. His drums were not running through the sound system. I was working sound for the acts that required additional music (I was in charge of pressing play on all the music off a CD). I had nothing to do with instruments. When I realized he wasn't coming through the sound system, I leaned over and said something to the sound guy. Apparently he was also getting an earful in his headset about it. He was working furiously to make sound come out of the system, but nothing he was doing was working. But there was Evan....still playing.
About 45 seconds I hear the sound guy say, "It's on. I swear it is on...he is just playing too softly." Well, if you have ever been within 100 yards of Evan playing the drums you know that is one thing he does not do. He does not play the drums quietly. You can hear him for miles (or so it seems).
At that point he was half way through. I threw down my pen and put my head down. I was so upset. When I looked up, Evan was still playing his sweet heart out. He was phased, but not deterred. He was effected but not defeated.
The texts immediately started rolling in. Evan was only the second act. I still had 27 other acts to go. I had to be present in my moment to play the correct track at the correct time...to know whether the groups would start on or off stage. To know whether they move forward after the curtain lifts or need props before I hit play.
The backstage crew was trying to tell me to send him back and he would play again. John was trying to tell me Evan wanted to stay for the show. I finally threw up my hands and said, "I can't text you people! I will miss a cue!" and put my phone down.
I pushed past the disappointment and stayed diligent for the rest of the show so no one else's act would be messed up. When the show ended, there were so many people who came up to me to comment. So many people who's children were in the show, but still wanted to seek me out to tell me how sad they were and how well they thought Evan handled it. But the final straw was when I finally looked at my phone again and saw this text from John.
"We have one bummed out little drummer."
That's when I lost it. I drove home crying the entire way because I feel like I could have prevented it. If I told John to bring him back in, he could have played again. I sent Evan home even though he wanted to stay. (side note: We didn't plan on him staying so I didn't arrange him to sit with anyone!) I called John, crying about the whole situation. After talking to him the entire way and him being very calm with me, he basically said, "You cannot come home crying. He is in a better place now and if you come in here crying, he's going to be upset again." So I drove once around the block to gather my emotions.
That drive around the block did me good. I was able to compose myself and plan what I was going to say to Evan. When I got home, he ran quite literally into my arms and said, "My drums weren't on." I explained I knew and that stunk. We went on the talk about disappointment. I made these points:
- It won't be his last disappointment in life.
- It's okay to be sad/mad/upset around his 'safe' people (us).
- But most importantly, our character is defined how we react to life's disappointments.
I spent quite a while talking to him about our reactions around others when we are disappointed. How the next day at school, people might mention that they knew his drums weren't on, and so on. He had two choices; he could pout about it or hold his head high and say how much fun he had anyway. He replied, "We don't pout." No sir, we don't.
What I didn't know, is what was happening behind the scenes. While I was crying in my car, literally talking out loud to God about my disappointment how the night went, my St. George's family was trying to make everything right. Jessica Abell and Tracy Forbes hatched out a plan for Evan. Tracy, who's daughter performed in the talent show, could have been driving home thinking about how great she did (which she did!). Jessica, who is like 10 months pregnant with a toddler at home, could have been thinking about finally ending her long day and getting to see her family. But no, both of them were so upset about Evan and wanted to make it right.
That is what family does for each other. They celebrate all the successes and mourn all the losses. They grieve when you do and try to make things right when important things just don't go your way. In less than 24 hours, my St. George's family had contacted Evan's drum teacher, organized him to bring the drum kit to chapel, organized A/V for the drum to go through our system, and even talked to the professional videographer about dubbing over the Talent Show audio with Evan's new performance.
St. George's is so much more than a school for my kids. It's so much more than a place they go to 180 days. It is rare to find a place where our family values and morals meet up with a superior education. If my children are spending more hours a week at school than at home, I want it to be a place where not just teachers and staff, but students and parents treat each other like family. A place where they care not just about his academic success, but his character, his emotional intelligence, his spiritual well being. It is literally a place they care about all the things that are important to us as a family.
So thank you to our St. George's family for making this disappointment something Evan will not remember as a disappointment.
So thank you to our St. George's family for making this disappointment something Evan will not remember as a disappointment.
