With a childlike faith...

The boys and I are a big part of The Stirring at Hope Church. John has played in the worship band for almost 10 years and I have been on the Leadership Team for 7. The boys are regulars and love helping out in any way, from being a greeter to taking up offering. We love our church!

Each year, The Stirring has a Maundy Thursday service. It’s one of our ‘big’ services that we plan for months on end. Each year, Holy Week become sort of a nightmare for me until Friday. Not only do I have our regular Easter stuff to get done, school egg hunts, Easter baskets to fill, Easter brunch, etc, I also am very involved in the planning of Maundy Thursday. These big services have a lot of moving parts that have to be executed in such a way that it looks seamless. And on top of this, it’s baseball season....for two boys...

Needless to say, I usually don’t feel very holy during Holy Week.

This Maundy Thursday seemed to be pretty taxing on my emotional and spiritual self. I was very caught up in the details, which is where the Devil lives (or so I hear) that I was missing the bigger picture. I was caught up in stressing about if the wooden chargers on the table were the right shade of brown. Did my volunteers know not to wear white? Were all the highlighters the same thickness on the table? Would someone go rouge and write a word that wasn’t on our list on the table (they did). And oh...would I screw up announcements somehow (spoiler alert: I did).

This is actually me doing announcements Christmas. I just like the picture.

This Maundy Thursday, we focused on things we need to lay down at the cross. Things we try to pick up and carry even though we know it’s in our best interest to give over to God. Those things that keep us from getting closer to God. Those things we just don’t quite trust God to handle. Those things we are ashamed of.

Boy did I have a list.

You would think helping with the planning of this service would be a huge wake-up call for me. While I had those moments, it was my children who really made me see what I was missing.

After the service was over, Luke pulled on my sleeve. He told me he wanted to ask me something:
Luke: What were they writing on the table?
Me: Well, those are the things that they want to give over to God. They have something in their life that is preventing them from being close to God, and they are choosing to lay it down and let God take care of it.
Luke: Did you write a word?
Me: Yes.
Luke: What was it?
Me: I wrote ‘perfectionism’ because I sometimes I get hung up on what my life is supposed to look like rather than the life God has planned for me.
Luke: Can I write a word?
Me: Sure, baby. What do you want to write?
Luke: Worry. I have worry in my heart, and I want to give that to God.

Luke, my one who is always thinking and listening even when I believe he isn't, got it. He really really got it.

We walked up to the table and he wrote his word. Evan comes bounding up to us in his overly excited way bouncing and dancing around saying “Hey y’all. What are y’all doing? What’s going on? What’s he writing?” I explained our conversation, and Evan asked if he could write a word. He asked me not to share what he wrote, but it really pulled at my heartstrings as well.

That night, I went to sleep knowing that if not one of the 2000 people in that room enjoyed, liked, or was affected by the service, that was okay. My two boys....only 7 and 9... got something huge out of it all while showing their momma what was important.

The next morning I woke up to this. Someone from the church took this picture of Evan worshiping. I showed this to Evan and asked him if he remembered it. He didn't. He wasn't sure when it was taken or what part of the service it was. All he knew is he felt like lifting himself up to God in praise. It truly wrecked me.

One demonstrative child and one deep quiet thinker. Both children of God. Both allowing God to work in their heart. Both showing me what I need to focus on.  Both whom I am proud to call mine. 

Luke: "Be strong and courageous, for the Lord, your God, will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Evan: Proverbs 16:3, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."