Change is a comin'

There is a BIG change a comin' at the Asbell house.

Stop. We are NOT pregnant.

We are just changing around how we are approaching food with the boys. My kids are picky. I was veeeeerrrry picky as a kid (mom - quit nodding your head). John was picky as a kid. It is only natural we pass both our good and bad traits onto our kids.

I got a lot more adventurous with my food selections as I became an adult. Now, there are very few foods I flat out refuse. I'll try most things once. My palate has matured. No longer do I have to live on mac and cheese and hot dogs as I did when I was 7. John is the same way. Some of our favorite dishes, we would have turned our noses up at 20 years ago.

While I was pregnant I read every pregnancy book, magazine, website, and message forum out there. To me, knowledge is power and I wanted to know it all. I always read that whatever the mother eats while pregnant the baby will get used to. The larger the selection the less picky the baby will be later in life. Well, all these studies must mean MUCH later in life because I ate it all. I was religious about my diet and types of food. I made sure to have a large variety of fruits, veggies, lean proteins and the nightly occasional sweet. And my babies were wonderful eaters those first 15-18 months. We we started solids at 6 months they tried and ate everything!

Pre-pregnancy I would have told you up and down I would never be a short order chef. Well...let's just say there is a reason people say "Never say never."

Sleep training my kids??? Yeah, I ROCKED that. My kids are the BEST at going to bed on their own and staying in their own bed.
Feeding my kids??? Well, let's just say, I have room for improvement.

John put his foot down on January 1 and declared Evan was going to have to start trying new food. In order to get his dessert each night, he would have to add a new food to his list. John then went out and bought a fancy new thing for one of his video games (see how much I get invited to play?) and set it on top of the refrigerator. He had to eat 25 new foods (or foods that he has once said he doesn't like) before he could get the ...thing...
And just to be clear, we are not talking about foods like sushi or calamari. We are talking about ham and grapes for cripes sake.

This was the first food. A cutie. It's name alone makes you want to eat it up! It small, easy to peel, delicious! Evan didn't have to eat the whole fruit. He didn't have to eat half. All Evan had to do was eat ONE SLICE.

The drama...the internal conflict....the DRAMA...

 

I really really wanted to set him up for success. We've tried this once before where I forced him to eat and it took a bad turn. So I really wanted him to do this on his own and be successful. 

Thank heavens he put it in his mouth and ate it. I deemed it, "okay" but made sure to tell me not to put them in his lunch.

Today is January 20th. You would like he would be 5 days away from his goal. Sadly, he's 9 days, but we are SO proud of him!!! He's tried a wide assortment of foods going as exotic as BBQ pork and a bite of turkey burger (some of the first real meats he's eaten since he was 2).

I have decided January and February will be our 'try new foods' month. Starting in March, these foods will make a regular appearance on his plate. 

All your short order cooks out there with picky eaters...know you are not alone in this battle! 

RIP Swimmy Wave Corner

The five people who read my blog know I don't like fish. But Evan got a fish in September and we have become 'fish people'. Evan loves having a pet. He prays for him almost every night. He remembers all his responsibilities like feeding him, cleaning his water, etc. He is a very good pet owner.

Sadly, while I was at dinner with some friends, Swimmy died. Evan went to feed him as he was going to bed and discovered him. Needless to say, he was very sad and cried.

When I got home and John told me, I immediately ran upstairs to Evan's room. I knew he would be asleep. I knew I wasn't going to wake him. I just needed to be with him. You see, my heart was broken. My son suffered his first real loss and I wasn't here for him. And if I am being honest, I had grown to like that scaley bug eyed thing. It really wasn't the fish I liked...I mean...let's be honest. It was how happy it made Evan.

The next morning, Evan crawled in bed with me. The first thing he said was "Swimmy died last night." I told him I knew and that it wasn't his fault. Evan was the best fish owner I knew and there was nothing we could have done differently. He started crying again which made me cry. I really have only seen Evan truly heartbroken one or two other times. My heart literally felt like it was cracking in my chest.

John told him we could go pick out some new friends for the tank. I mean, we spent over $100 on this habitat...we were getting more use out of it! We agreed we had to get more goldfish, but could splurge on some 'fancier' ones. Evan settled on a red capped goldfish, telescoping goldfish and a comet goldfish. Trust me when I tell you I know more about these damn fish than I EVER wanted to. But once you have kids, you realize you will do just about anything to make them happy.

So welcome to the family Veto, Wendall, and Mingo. We hope you like your new digs!

PS. I won't write about every fish we get, I promise.

Writing Checks

Remember when people wrote checks to pay for things? Before debit cards? Before automatic or online payments? There are still a couple things we write checks for...but man, is it a pain now. I do remember it taking me months to remember to write the new year. Something the boys will probably never experience.

Either way - it's a brand new year. We are literally 9 hours into the New Year (I started this at 9am) and I don't have my New Year's Resolutions decided yet. For those who don't know me, this is really out of character. I am a New Year's Resolution person. It's actually how this blog got started.  I usually have my NY's resolutions decided in October or November. I take them very seriously!

But here it is January 1st and I don't have one resolution. I think I know why, but can't pinpoint it, and since I am a verbal processor, I am going to write about it.

2014 taught me quite a bit. There were some things I did terribly wrong and some things I completely rocked. Often my New Year's Resolutions stem from the past year and seeing what I need to improve upon or keep going. As I look back on 2014, I am seeing a trend.

Balance.

Remember writing those checks? It took me a while to learn how to balance my checkbook. I was the worst at it. I bounced several checks in college. I remember crying hysterically when I bounced the checks. Money wasn't something that just appeared in my account. I had to work for every cent I spent. My parents had to work for every cent they gave me. I was always so disappointed in myself when I was too lazy to balance the checkbook or proud or embarrassed not to buy/spend money/go out. But in the end the consequence to that action was always worse. I hate feeling like I disappointed my parents or put any financial strain on them. I hated getting charged $35 when I didn't have enough in my account to cash that $5.00.

So what has 2014 taught me? Balance. Just like that check book in college, except this time I have learned my lessons about keeping it balanced.

I will believe NO is not a bad word in 2015. We can't do everything. We can't go to every birthday party. We can't do every sport. God's plan for me does not include exhaustion. I am going to commit to keeping my family well balanced with school, outside activities that make them HAPPY, and quality family time. I learned this lesson with Luke and soccer this year. I thought Luke needed to be a part of an organized sport. If I am going to be truly honest, I know that sports are a big thing with his peer group. They are with Evan's as well. I didn't want Luke to 'get behind'. Well, this is Luke we are talking about. I can tell you, we weren't ready for organized sports, at least in that kind of setting and he wasn't shy in letting me know that.
Evan also taught me this in 2014. He loves to drum. This is his true passion right now. That and baseball. Every time a new sport season comes up, I ask him if he wants to play. If it's not baseball season, he says, "I just want to play the drums." I might have tried to convince him to play a couple of different sports even after he said no just because I thought he 'should'. I didn't listen to what he really wanted. Looking back, if he actually played those sports, we would have had ZERO balance in our life.

 

I will cherish our family time in 2015. The boys are terrific friends. As soon as one of them wakes up, they immediately go find the other one. If Evan isn't home, the first thing Luke wants to know is where he is and when he's coming back. When Luke naps in the afternoon, Evan almost crawls out of his skin. He watches the clock like a hawk and wants to wake him up as soon as it turns 3pm.  Luke may not show it as well as Evan, but both boys have mad brother love for each other. I want to foster this friendship among them and I think it starts with balanced family time. Time at home as a family doing family things like playing board games, wrestling on the bed, reading stories, going to the park, playing in the backyard. If we overcommit ourselves, we don't get enough of that. These guys are going to be teenagers soon and I going to wish they were always under my feet or hanging on me. I need to cherish this time I have with them now.

 

Speaking of family - I need to recognize a proper balance between who we are as individuals (and a collective unit) and my expectations for us in 2015. We are flawed. We aren't perfect BUT we are exactly who God made us to be. I am not a pinterest mom. My boys don't need a Pinterest mom. They need mom who will be there for them when their heart gets broken or their knee is scraped. My Luke isn't going enjoy talking to strangers. Here's the great thing.  The world also needs more introverts like Luke who like having a close inner circle, who may not always be the first to talk. My Evan isn't going to want alone time.  The world needs more Evans who put themselves second (or last). Whose hearts are bigger than their body. So my prayer is for God to show me exactly how to foster that in each of them and myself AND love the fact we were made for a very specific reason.

It may be more general than years past, but I feel this year's resolution will have more meaning than mosts. Happy New Year my friends! I pray 2015 is one filled with love and happiness!